Bullshit. I was.
I like to write about myself. Am I doing it to stay strong? Am I doing it to relive the debauchery and the shame? Even in rehab me and my dudes were the bad boys. We sat outside smoking cigs all fucking night until we had to roll in while the other dudes were playing ping pong or in prayer group.
Prayer Group. This one dude (lets call him Jeff, and lets call him that because his name is actually Jeff) rolled in on my second day. Clock what he said "dude fuck this. These guys look like idiots. I want to get out of here. My wife cut off all me credit cards and I have no access to my bank account or I would split. I just want to use and get the Hell out of here". By his third day he was leading prayer group. Because wifey liked that. Because at the end of thirty he got his credit cards back. Because then he cold go back to coke and prostitutes every once in awhile. And the prostitutes? Oh dude he would hire these chicks and not allow them to speak or move. He just had them stand in the corner while he raged.
He still does this. He got his money back.
So I on the other hand smoke cigs and crack jokes and tell the counselor I want to throw a chair through the window and my girl? She leaves.
So now I crave it. I crave debauchery more than I crave the booze and drugs. I crave the chaos and I crave the hit. But you know I don't do it. I just don't. But maybe if I joined prayer group my girl would have stayed and maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a fucking bad person.
Oh yeah...this is Steve. We asked him to join our blog. He smoked cigs with us.