OK I think it's time for me to weigh in. My name is Steve. I'm a friend of Seth and Brian and we all got to know each other back when we were housed together in treatment, smoking cigs and acting like assholes. Ha! Those were interesting days.
I'm the youngest of the three, I'm only 25. About 7-8 years ago, I was pretty athletic, played safety on my high school football team, I ran, played tennis (I was even better at tennis than any other sport actually). But I injured my knee pretty severely driving like a douchebag on a moped during my freshman year in college. I was actually drunk and would teeter a little heavy with alcohol at that age. It actually got out of control on several occasions. Anyway a couple of surgeries later and a knee replacement, I started taking pain killers and gained so much of an appetite that I bypassed my doctor who refused to prescribe more pain killers and tried Oxycontin, which I got from a friend of a friend of a friend! So, anyway I would pop those regularly. I eventually found out that you could smoke it too. Basically, you rub the tablet on a piece of tin foil, it leaves a residue. You take a lighter and hold the flame on the opposite side of the foil, you then suck in the smoke with a straw. I would get pretty solid hits from that method and it became my daily routine. A lot of times I would do this drunk. That almost has OD written all over it. Thankfully that never happened!
My parents didn't really have substance abuse problems themselves, but my dad was/is verbally abusive to my Mom and my sister. Plus, they sort of have money. Instead of dealing with me stopping by their house asking for money and "using" in their home, they put me in an apartment in a building they owned. Out of site and out of mind! That was my drug pad. I lost a lot of weight, acted like a needy and selfish motherfucker. In a way, my parents were feeding my habit putting me there.
Well finally, my sister convinced me, after many many tries, that I needed help. (She also abused prescription drugs for a time before getting help). Part of the recovery process was to process Dad's abusive personality. It didn't work right away, I fell off and relapsed one other time, but I tried again. It was during the first treatment that I ran into these guys. I think the three of us finally got it right. Now we're here, holding jobs, learning new things, moving on and writing about it.
I wish I didn't delete my blog. But I wrote a lot of angry stuff in there. At some point, I printed out those pages and deleted the blog. All the entries are in a binder in my bookcase as a historical reference to my darkest areas. I don't need to read it now, because I feel so freaking good! But anytime I don't feel so good about myself, it helps to go back and read about how far I've come.
By the way, I'm also a drug rehabilitation counselor and an studying to get certified. I think I'm pretty good! I do follow it from a spiritual perspective. I'm not really "religious" persay, but I'm spiritual. I would even invite a little buddhism if it gave me a clearer perspective.
Anyway, that's the jist of what's me. Discuss.